i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
