My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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