It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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