who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
