He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
All the doctor said was why
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize