I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize