Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
