I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I know her cup size but not her name....
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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