Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
