Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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