She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
