She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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