Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
