He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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