saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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