This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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