Non-Jews are for practice
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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