Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I supernannyed him into submission
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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