ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
