I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
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