I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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