we're blogging at a bar
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
