A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
