So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
