I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
