His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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