He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize