He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
