dude i'm inner monologue high
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
