How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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