Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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