I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize