How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
