so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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