dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
