Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
