did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
