he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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