Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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