in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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