I molested 6 butterflies tonight
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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