I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize