I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I enjoy the company of your penis
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize