I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
