4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
