hotel room ftw
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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