My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
