I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
