we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
