The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
