erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
