VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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