He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
