dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
