He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
