At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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