dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Pants are for mortals
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
