I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize