they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Everyone says I win the strip club
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
