She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Will exercising make me less horny?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
