his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
